elsewhere in my blogs. Just to finish up the timeline if you will…….
So I was very fortunate in that I found what I thought would be a great career opportunity in the promotional products field in which I had a LOT of experience. The universe was looking out for
me-haha- because I found it within two weeks of moving. It turned out that the company treated its employees horribly and they delivered very little of what they promised. I knew more about the industry than my immediate supervisors so I figured to move up quickly. I think they resented that fact and did whatever they could to stop that from happening. Whatever, it was exactly what I needed at the time and I’m grateful that it was there just when I needed it. After about a year, I decided that it wasn’t going to be what I thought it was and I resigned and began to earnestly work on “The Freedom to Recover”.
During that year, I did go to AA meetings about twice a month so that I could collect my stupid coins celebrating one month, two months, etc….I only did this so that I could eventually have a collection of them and make a necklace out of it to send to my kids. They were still brainwashed into believing that AA was the
only way and that until I had “a year”, they wouldn’t even really acknowledge me. I mean being 300 miles away, they had no other way of knowing whether or not I was really not drinking. So it served that purpose I suppose. I actually HATE the counting of time. It's such an AA thing to give you some kind of standing or authority. Like Joe's sobriety is better or more legitimate because he has 12 years and I only have 3 or whatever. It's just lame. The white chip thing is demoralizing and cruel. Right now I've been alcohol free for 3 1/2 years....who cares.....if I was to "slip" and drunk tonight....would that discredit those 3 1/2 years?
Would they then become meaningless? I think not. It's not going to happen but if it did, I should not be made to feel like a loser and have "start all over again". You fall, you get up and go back at it. Counting time, if you want to do it, should be a private thing. Sure you should be proud for your "time" but seriously....do you want a gold star or something? Be grown up and just be glad
for your time and move on.
So anyway, I went often enough so that I could get that “One year coin” to give to my kids. At that last
meeting I basically stuck it them. I told the speechless crowd that AA had zero to do with my current sobriety, that I was NOT an alcoholic because I no LONGER drank, that one day at time recovery for eternity was a horrible goal, that I was recovered because I was NOT “powerless”and was not going to “surrender” my will or my life to anybody or anything. I finished my little speech and left the room of sheeple looking like deer lost in headlights. I laughed and smiled all the way to my car.
So, I wrote the book and went about the whole process of self-publishing where there are helpful people
ready to rip you off at every turn. The whole thing was a lot of work, extremely time consuming, expensive and exasperating. It’s been worth every second of it when I get an e-mail from somebody saying how much it has helped them. That’s what it’s all about and it makes me smile :->
So I’ve been busy on different forums trying to get the word out. As a self-publisher, you have zero help. It’s all on you. I should be writing the next book and that’s really got to become my focus instead of the forums and whatnot. I have a few in books mind. One is AA related because it’s a novel loosely based
on a true story I heard about a guy who committed suicide over his inability to remain sober and the brainwashing and uselessness of being in the rooms. He bought that he was powerless, lost hope and killed himself.
Then there is a fun novel based on my time managing a day manual labor personnel
service in Manhattan. Oh, the stories from that place and they are all true!!!
The big one will be about how to do life and will probably not even be about addiction. My fiancé, Jill, has often said that the 2ndhalf of “The Freedom” can benefit anybody. That it’s not so much about overcoming addiction as it is about embracing life.
Other than that, I try to play my guitar every day and hope to actually record some stuff. I’ll probably put out a youtube anti-AA song for kicks real soon.
I exercise every day either playing tennis or kayaking out in the bay.
I’m engaged to the love of my life, Jill, who has been beyond helpful in helping me in all things “Freedom to Recover” related. She is my heart and the most incredible person I have ever met!
My relationship with my children is a work in progress. I’m in a really good place with two of them right now and not so much with the other one. It’s a process and am hopeful.
I’m sure I’m missing a ton, but that’s it for now. Any questions please feel free to e-mail me! I’m extremely transparent and there is very little that I won’t share.
Have a great day folks,