Still not getting
OK, so this guy still was not getting it, so after a few back and forths, here is what I left him with. The saga continues and I'll let you all know if any of it sinks in this time.
Here is you Final Big question and here is my answer......
"I am only hoping you can objectively tell me the reason that so many anti-12 step people insist that their path through the tribulations of addiction is the only one acceptable, even if alternative views such as 12 step programs seem to work for many with different personalities and different needs."
Who insists that "their path" is the only way, and exactly what path is that? There as many different paths as there are days in the year but they do share one thing in common and that is that at some point they realize that to stop, at the end of the day, requires nothing more than the decision to do so.
When you say that, "the twelve steps seem to work for many," I think you've said a lot more than you know. "Seems to" is very accurate. You note all the people on the websites who say so. There are always going to be a vocal minority of people who are adamant about supporting what they believe in, especially when it's their religion or fatih. Again, you admit that you know little of what goes on in the "rooms" and the people who go there.
So let me enlighten you. Each meeting has a core group of "old timers" who seem to have been there forever. Yes they add a new one from time to time but for the rest it's a revolving door for a reason. But more to your
point, those old timers can have it and I don't want to take it away from them or to convert them. They were already converted a long time ago. The fact is, it DOESN'T work for a lot of people when you compare it to the # of people who have tried it and for whom it was a failure.
These anti AA efforts aren't so much for the people who love their AA, it's for the alcohol dependent person who has yet to try it!!!!! Would you suggest to your loved ones a "program" which arguably has a non-existent "success" rate. More to the point, would you recommend to a loved one that they hang their hat on a border-line cult. Yes, it has virtually all of the characteristics of a cult with the exception that they don't steal all of your assets. Google cult characteristics and come back with any questions for any proof that you need.
People who try AA and "don't get it" more often than not, go out and drink even more because they feel like a failure, in some cases they take their own lives because of it. I've seen it more than once. Would you tell people to try Scientology or the Moonies? AA isn't much higher on the evolutionary scale.
So that's why, DAM123. I was one of those people who "didn't get it" and didn't want to be part of a borderline cult. But because my X wife's AA loving therapist, the media and other so called "recovery" experts told me it was the only way, I tried but ended up feeling like a loser and I did go back at it harder than ever. Suicide was on the radar. So for those people who love their little cult and lifetime recovery, I feel sorry for them but they can have it.
No, this is for the poor suffering people looking for an answer who don't deserve to be subjected to a cult that will just form a new dependency. Dependencies aren't healthy. It's not good to be dependent on your
mommy, your spouse or a program that demands that you "surrender your Will and your Life to it, it just isn't. I hope that answers your question.
He still didn't get why I would want to stop people in their tracks before they declare themselves as being powerless and committing themselves to a LIFETIME of recovery. It's just WRONG, that's why.
He didn't want to get it, but I tried......